Honoring the Reality of Others
We’ve all been trained to believe that having advantages over others is the basis of authority, that control equals power, but control is never as powerful as relationship. I learned this myself the hard way.
I began my career as an entertainer by street performing for many years. Obviously my show relies upon audience participation. Without it, I have no show.
I once needed a volunteer for one of these public performances and walking into the audience I found the perfect person, but he was very reluctant to join in. Because I specifically wanted him to help me, and he fit my agenda, I got the crowd to start cheering for him and kept them going until he had no choice but to give in.
I brought him onstage for the routine figuring he’d relax once he was involved, but he really didn’t want to be there, he never got into the spirit of it, and the routine fell flat, because I had forced the issue.
So I let him go, he disappeared into the crowd and I continued on with my next routine, juggling 5 balls. The audience was still ready to have fun, so they applauded as I finished the difficult trick and I raised my hands to take a bow. However I didn’t notice my last volunteer as he had gone out, circled around to the back of my large crowd, quietly snuck up behind me, grabbed each leg of my sport shorts and dropped them to my ankles.
I stood there in suspended animation. It was just like the standard naked nightmare where you’re dreaming that you suddenly find yourself unclothed in a crowd of people, wondering how it all came to be. But it had happened for real. It was without a doubt one of the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me. (Sound the word embarrassing out slowly to get the full appropriateness of its usage.)
I reached down, pulled up my shorts, tightened the drawstring this time, said "Ta-Dah!", and went on with my show, knowing that I had just gotten exactly what I deserved.
To exercise control in the absence of connection eventually results in the loss of control. As a leader when we fail to respect another person’s point of view or experience, we turn the very people who could most help us, against us.
Perhaps we believe that control must be maintained to avoid the breakdown of the structures we are responsible for—our families, companies or communities—and that to open ourselves to others’ points of view would be to weaken our authority.
Unquestionably, it is important that we maintain our authority as parents of our children and as leaders of the organizations and businesses we serve. Yet there is a crucial distinction to be made between the natural influence we enjoy through true human connection and and the control we are forced to resort to in its absence.
True Stories
Quotable
"You ever wear a bathing suit because you've run out of clean underwear?"
Louis C.K.
New Contact Info
I've moved! Back to Vancouver, BC.
But you can still reach me on the same cell number, 928-830-0005 or my Vancouver number, 604-228-8222.
Booking inquiries can also be directed to Christa Haberstock at See Agency - 310-903-1971.
Rick Lewis has been entertaining and inspiring audiences for the last 30 years. The success of The World's Funniest Waiter over the years is based on clean, interactive comedy and high-level circus skills.
